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When A Relationship Is Not Working

A relationship that doesn't work out has not been a waste of time or a failure. Every relationship that you have teaches you something, and helps you to grow as an individual. You may walk away from a relationship with clearer ideas of what sort of qualities you want or don't want in a partner.

Some early warning signs that a relationship isn't working are bad tempers, pouting when one doesn’t get their way, physical outbursts, and heavy drinking and/or drug abuse. These may start to exist in your partner or yourself.

Remember to trust your instincts about whether or not to stay in a relationship, and that having no relationship is better than having a bad relationship.

How to end a relationship

Breaking off a relationship is rarely an easy thing to do and is usually something people spend a lot of time thinking about. Here are some tips on preparing to end a relationship:

  • Make a definite decision and follow through with it – in the moment it may be easy to say that you aren’t sure or to be persuaded to stay with the individual, especially if they become upset. Remember why you made the decision and stick with it; you are doing what is best for you.
  • Choose a safe location for the break-up.
  • Be prepared for uncomfortable feelings – a break-up isn’t a pleasant thing, especially if you aren’t the one who has made the decision. Uncomfortable feelings are bound to surface. Knowing this will increase your ability to deal with them.
  • Don't walk out without an explanation – if your partner asks you why, be prepared to tell them, and be honest.
  • Avoid blaming - try not to point fingers and blame the end of the relationship solely on one person.
  • Be firm. Make the end FINAL.

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Tips to make "breaking up" easier

No one ever said that breaking up is easy, even if you are certain your decision was the right one. You may still feel upset about not having a special someone in your life.
Here are some tips on making the time after a break-up easier:

  • Don't feel guilty for deciding that the relationship is no longer right for you.
  • Don't keep living in the past.
  • Express your thoughts and feelings to your close friends and family.
  • Call up old friends; using your support system is important in times such as this.
  • Take care of yourself physically though rest,  healthy eating and physical activity .
  • Put away mementos that you find challenging to look at or be around.
  • Expect "up" days and "down" days.
  • Postpone major decisions and other big changes in your life.
  • Find new ways to enjoy the extra time and new freedom and take time to rediscover yourself.

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