All About Being Bisexual

This web page contains information and links to resources for bisexuals, their family and friends.

What does it mean to be bisexual?

Bisexual people are individuals who feel sexually and emotionally attracted to people of either sex.

  • Bisexuals experience desire and intimacy with a special person just like people who are straight.
  • Some bisexuals may be attracted to each sex in a different way, might like one sex more than the other, or might focus on the attraction or qualities they see in an individual, regardless of that person's gender.
  • As with all sexual orientations, these attractions may or may not lead to sexual relations.
  • It is our choice what to call and label ourselves. Many people engage in sexual activity with people of both sexes, but do not call themselves bisexual. Likewise, some people engage in sexual relations with only one gender, or do not have sexual relations at all, yet consider themselves bisexual. There is no "test" or way to determine whether one is bisexual; each person has to identify for him or herself if they are bisexual.
  • Bisexuals are in many ways a hidden population. In our culture it is generally assumed that a person is heterosexual (attracted to the opposite sex).
  • Sometimes people are categorized as homosexual, usually based on stereotypes around behaviour or appearance. Because bisexuality does not fit into these categories, it is denied or ignored.

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How do I know if I am bisexual?

  • Determining our sexuality can be very confusing.
  • You may not know what to call your sexual feelings. You don't have to rush and decide how to label yourself. Our sexual identities develop over time.
  • You might notice that you have sexual feelings about both males and females.
  • These feelings could indicate that you are bisexual.
  • Some bisexual people go through a period of calling themselves "gay", "lesbian," or "heterosexual" before calling themselves bisexual.
  • Many people assume bisexuality is just a phase people go through.
  • It is true that sexual feelings and behaviour may change over time, so some people may be bisexual for a period of their lives.
  • Other people may find that being bisexual is long term and is part of their sexual identity.

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Who should I tell?

  • More and more, bisexual youth are learning to feel better about themselves.
  • As you start to listen to your deepest feelings and learn more about what it is to be bisexual, you will begin to feel more comfortable with your sexuality.
  • This is the process called " coming out " and happens over a long period of time.
  • The first step in coming out is to tell yourself that you are bisexual and that it's okay.
  • Later, you may want to tell someone else- someone you trust to understand. It could be a friend or an adult.
  • You may want to meet other bisexual kids for friendship and support.
  • You will need to decide whether to  tell your family and when to tell them.
  • Because many people do not understand bisexuality, be careful who you tell.

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What about sexual activity?

  • Naturally, you think about finding an outlet for your sexual feelings. Becoming a healthy sexual person is part of the coming out process. Deciding to have sex is a big decision.
  • Be sure you are ready to engage in a sexual relationship before you make this decision. Having sex with someone with either gender might be frightening.
  • It is important to be honest and discuss your feelings with your partner.
  • Know that there are many ways to be sexually close to another person: hugging, kissing, cuddling, stroking, exchanging fantasies, rubbing bodies together, touching each other's genitals with hands or tongues, or having oral, vaginal or anal intercourse.
  • Make sure that you and your partner are comfortable with what you are doing.
  • You have control of your body.
  • If you choose to be sexually active, be responsible and protect yourself and your partner from unwanted pregnancy HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) .

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Protect yourself

  • Women and women: Using a barrier such as a dental dam, a latex glove or a condom cut open will reduce the risk of  HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) .
  • Women and guys: Using a condom every time for anal, oral and vaginal intercourse to reduce the risk of HIV, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy. Another form of birth control may be used in addition to the condom.
  • Guys and guys: Using a condom every time for anal intercourse and oral intercourse will reduce the risk of HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  • Everyone: Always use water-based lubricants, as oil-based lubricants can break down the latex.

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Myths about bisexuality

There are many myths about bisexuality.

Myth

Bisexuality doesn't exist.


Fact

Research conducted in the 1950's indicated that at least 15% of women and 33% of men were bisexual based on behaviour and attraction.

Myth

Bisexuality is just a phase.


Fact

Bisexuality is not something someone will grow out of. Many people are attracted to both men and women and remain that way their entire lives.

Myth

Bisexuals are really gay or lesbian, but don't want to admit it.


Fact

Bisexual individuals may identify themselves as being lesbian, gay, or heterosexual before calling themselves bisexual.

Myth

Bisexuals are unfaithful and undependable.


Fact

Bisexual people are just as faithful to one partner as straight or gay people are.

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