How can I deal with the pressure to have sex?

Pressure comments and pressure questions are those that are asked to try and convince you to have sex. It helps to figure out how you might respond to certain questions before they are even asked.

Below is a list of Comments / Questions and some possible responses. Read through the list and think of how you would respond in the situation.

Come on, everybody's doing it! 
I'm not everybody, and everybody is not doing it.

If you really love me, you'll have sex with me.
If you loved me you'd respect my feelings and beliefs and not push me into something that I don’t want to do.

If you don't have sex with me then I'll break up with you.
I don't think that we are in this relationship for the same reasons, and if that's how you really feel maybe we should reconsider our relationship.

It's just a part of growing up.
Sexual intercourse is a part of growing up, but only when I'm ready for it to happen and I'm not ready right now.

You say you want to wait until you are married, but I want to marry you someday.
Being married to me and wanting to marry me are two different things and the future is a long time from now.

We had sex once before, what's the problem now?
I have the right to change my mind, and I'm just not comfortable with the idea of having sex. Remember: Slowing down a little is not a bad thing, it gives the relationship time to develop and mature.

Having sex will make you a real man/ woman.
Having sex doesn't prove anything and I don't need to have sex to feel like a real man/woman.

Don't you want to see what it's like?
Eventually, but right now I'm comfortable with what we're doing.

Don't you find me attractive?
Yes, I find you attractive but having sex with you is not going to prove that.

You've got me all excited - if you love me prove it.
We’re both a little excited right now. I think we should slow down. Having sex with you is not going to prove that I love you.

Come on, have a drink, it'll get you in the mood.
I don't want to drink right now, and you know how I feel about having sex. Please do not pressure me.

If you don't do it, someone else will.
If that's how you feel then I think we need to talk about why we are in this relationship.

But I need it.
If I can wait, you can wait - it won't kill you.