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Infatuation versus Love

Sometimes it is hard to tell if you are infatuated with someone or in love with him or her. People of all ages can get mixed up between infatuation and love, and in the excitement of a relationship it can be hard to tell the difference.

Love grows as the relationship develops. It doesn't happen immediately - it develops slowly, naturally and sincerely. Below is some information to help you decide if you are in love or infatuated with your partner.

What is infatuation?

Infatuation may have some of the following characteristics:

  • Jealousy and distrust – jealousy of friends or activities.
  • One person hangs on to the other.
  • Partners have an idealized image of each other.
  • There is a high level of fear of losing the other.
  • The relationship is built on physical attraction.
  • One person is always giving more than the other.
  • The relationship is the most important thing in your life and you depend upon it to make you feel important.
  • There may be violence in the relationship.
  • One person frequently makes promises that aren't kept.
  • The relationship may cause you to function less well than usual at school, work, or home and you find yourself spending all of your time together.

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How do I know if what I am feeling is love?

Love has the following qualities:

  • Honesty, respect and trust
  • Mutual giving and receiving
  • Each partner feels a commitment to the other
  • Partners have a balanced interest in other areas of life besides the relationship
  • Both people can handle highs and lows in the relationship
  • Both people are allowed to be themselves and feel at ease with the other
  • You both enjoy your time together
  • You feel as though the two of you are close friends; the physical attraction is only one aspect of the feelings you share.

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