About positive parenting/caregiving

Positive parenting/caregiving means helping your child grow socially and emotionally by showing love, understanding, respect, and clear communication.

• Building strong connections: A caring and loving relationship between you and your child is the heart of positive parenting/caregiving. Simple, everyday moments, like playing, talking, laughing, and listening, help build trust and closeness. When children feel loved and safe at home, it’s easier to manage challenging behaviours in a calm and supportive way.
• Respecting differences: Cultural backgrounds can shape how families choose to raise their children. These ways can be different when it comes to things like sleep, crying, and behaviour. It’s important to respect these differences and make sure every child feels safe, supported, and cared for.

Positive parenting/caregiving strategies

There’s no single “right” way to parent. Every child is unique, and they show both positive and challenging behaviours for many reasons.

• Have realistic expectations: Be patient with yourself and your child. Learning how to manage behaviour in positive ways takes time. Understanding what’s typical for your child’s age and stage of development can help you know what to expect.
• Challenging behaviour is part of growing up: It’s normal for kids to push limits and show big feelings as they learn and grow.
• Adjust your approach: How you respond to your child should match their age, temperament, and the situation. There are many positive parenting strategies you can try. What works may change as your child grows, that’s okay.

Understanding your child’s temperament

Temperament is your child’s natural way of reacting to the world. It’s their unique style of feeling and responding to people, places, and situations. It also affects how they handle change and show their emotions.

• Temperament isn’t a choice: Your child doesn’t choose their temperament, and it’s not something they learn from you. It’s part of who they are from the start.
• Get to know your child’s temperament: Understanding your child’s natural traits and strengths can help you support them in the best way. You will learn and get to know your child’s temperament over time. Some kids are easygoing and adjust quickly. Others may be more sensitive, energetic, or need extra time to get used to new things. Every child is different.
• There’s no “right” or “wrong” temperament: All temperaments are normal. When you understand and work with your child’s unique style, it helps you build a stronger bond and supports your child’s healthy development and resilience (ability to cope with challenges).

How understanding your child’s temperament can help

Every child is different. Learning about your child’s temperament can help you:

• Support their emotional needs: No matter what your child’s temperament is, they do best when they feel safe, loved, and understood. Taking time to understand how your child reacts to the world helps you meet their emotional needs.
• Choose parenting strategies that work for them: When you adjust your parenting/caregiving approach to fit your child’s temperament, it can lower stress for both of you and help prevent behaviour challenges.

Why harsh punishment doesn't work

It’s normal to want children to learn from their mistakes, but harsh punishments like yelling, shaming, or physical discipline can do more harm than good.

Harsh punishment should never be used. Harsh punishment includes both physical punishments, like spanking (external link), slapping, shaking; and emotional punishment, like shaming or making your child feel they are a bad person because of something they have done or said. These actions can hurt both your child’s body and feelings and may also affect your well-being as a parent/caregiver.

Harsh punishment isn’t helpful and can be harmful

• It can lead to more behaviour problems: Children who experience harsh or inconsistent discipline are more likely to have behaviour issues and may face long-term health and emotional problems.
• It doesn’t teach positive skills: Research shows harsh punishment doesn’t help kids learn what to do next time. Instead of learning more positive ways to behave, children may become afraid, angry, or more likely to act out.
• It damages trust: Strong, loving relationships help children grow and thrive. Harsh punishment can hurt the bond between you and your child, making it harder for them to turn to you for support.
• It may cause more acting out: When children feel scared, confused, or ashamed, they often show more challenging behaviour.

A better approach to help your child learn and grow

Children learn best when they feel safe, loved, and supported. By practicing positive parenting/caregiving through calm, consistent guidance and strong relationships, you help your child grow into a confident, healthy and caring person. Here are some helpful tips:

• Have regular routines: Routines help your child know what to expect and how to behave. Over time, you can build daily routines that work for your family. Babies don’t follow set schedules at first. Watch for their signs that let you know when they’re hungry, tired, or upset, and respond right away when they cry.
• Set clear limits and simple rules: Clear, kind rules help kids understand what’s okay and what’s not. For example, say, “use your walking feet in the house” instead of “no running in the house!”
• Offer choices when you can: Letting your child choose between two things can help them feel more in control. Try saying, “would you like an apple or a banana?”
• Notice and praise positive behaviour: When your child is showing positive behaviour, point it out. For example, “I saw how you used your words. That was great!”
• Help your child label and understand feelings: Learn to recognize your child’s feelings, even before they are old enough to talk about them. Help them name their feelings with words to describe how they are feeling and label your own feelings too. This helps your child learn how to express and manage their feelings as they grow. It’s also important to let your child know that their feelings are okay. This means showing them that you understand how they feel. For example, “It makes sense that you feel angry that your sister took your toy”. When kids feel heard and understood, they’re less likely to have big outbursts that can build into temper tantrums. It helps them feel safe and shows them that their feelings matter.
• Support problem-solving: Teach your child to think through problems. For example, “we have one truck and two kids who want to play with it. What can we do to solve this together?”
• Model positive behaviour: Your child learns by watching you. Stay calm, be kind, and use positive ways to handle challenges.
• Learn more positive parenting strategies. Parenting programs like Triple P Online can help you build your parenting skills and confidence, and manage challenging behaviours. Register today by calling 311  or emailing haltonparents@halton.ca .
• Stay calm and care for yourself: Parenting/caregiving can be hard. Practicing self-care is key to managing your stress and helping you to respond to your child in a patient and loving way. If you’re feeling stressed, ask a friend or family member to help, or put your child in a safe place and take a few minutes to breathe and calm down.
• Build your support system: Take care of your own needs and connect with other parents in your community. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Support is available, and it’s okay to ask for help.

Helping your child with separation anxiety

It’s normal for babies and young children to feel upset when they’re apart from a parent/caregiver. This is called separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety can look different at different ages, and it’s a healthy part of your child’s development. It can happen at different ages and in various ways.

Why separation anxiety happens

Between 4 and 7 months, babies start to understand something called "object permanence". That means they realize that people and things still exist even when they can’t see them. So, when you leave the room, your baby might feel unsure or upset because they know you’re gone but don’t yet understand that you’ll come back.

Helping your baby or child sleep better

Bedtime can be one of the most challenging parts of the day. You may find it hard to get your child to fall asleep or stay asleep.

Every child is different. Some need more sleep, while others need less. What matters most is making sure your child sleeps enough to help them learn and grow, and responding to their needs with patience, comfort, and care.

Chrildren's daily sleep needs (including naps)

• infants (0-3 months old): 14-17 hours
• babies (4 to 12 months old): 12-16 hours
• toddlers (1 to 2 years old): 11-14 hours
• children (3 to 5 years old): 10-13 hours

Always make sure you put your child to sleep in a safe place, whether it’s during the day or at night. Remember, healthy sleep habits take time to build, and small changes can lead to big improvements.

Baby’s sleep in the first year

Babies don’t sleep like adults. In the first year, your baby will wake often and sleep for short stretches throughout the day and at night. This is completely normal. During the first year, your baby’s sleep patterns change a lot because they’re growing and learning so quickly! This can be tiring for you. Most babies take about 2 to 3 months to learn the difference between day and night. Around that time, they may start sleeping longer at night.

Temper tantrums

Temper tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development. They often involve crying, yelling, hitting, kicking, or refusing to cooperate. Tantrums usually happen between the ages of 1 and 3 years, when your child is still learning how to express their feelings and needs. As a parent/caregiver, dealing with temper tantrums can be incredibly challenging, but there are ways to respond that help both you and your child.

Why toddlers have tantrums

Tantrums happen for many reasons, but the most common include:

• Frustration: Toddlers often know what they want but can’t express it clearly.
• Hunger or tiredness: When a child’s physical needs are not met it can quickly lead to a meltdown.
• Lack of control: Young children want independence but don’t always get it.
• Overstimulation: Too much noise, activity, or pressure can overwhelm a toddler.
• Testing boundaries: Tantrums can be a way to explore limits and learn what behaviour is acceptable.

How to respond to a tantrum

Dealing with a tantrum in the moment can be hard, but these steps can help:

• Stay calm: Your child learns and responds by watching you. If you stay calm, it helps them feel safe and they're more likely to calm down faster too.
• Keep them safe: Make sure your child is not hurting themselves or others. Do not ignore behaviours like hitting, biting or kicking. If needed, gently move them to a safe space.
• Speak softly and simply: Use a calm voice. Say something like, “I see you’re upset. I’m here when you’re ready.” Avoid yelling or trying to reason too much during the peak of a tantrum.
• Validate their emotions: A statement like: “You’re angry with me because you can’t have a cookie before dinner” can help them name how they’re feeling and bring them closer to calming their emotions.
• Don’t give in to demands: If your child throws a tantrum to get something and it works, they’re likely to try it again. Stay consistent with your rules or expectations.
• Wait it out: Sometimes the best option is to wait for the “storm to pass”. Then, offer comfort once they’ve calmed down.

Tips to help prevent future tantrums

You can’t stop every tantrum, but you can reduce how often they happen:

• Stick to a routine: Predictable meals, naps, and bedtimes help toddlers feel secure.
• Offer age-appropriate choices: Letting your child choose between two options such as “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup” gives them a sense of control.
• Praise good behavior: Notice and encourage your child when they express themselves calmly. “I am so proud that you told me that you are sad about having to go to bed instead of playing with your toys. Thank you for using your words.”
• Teach feelings: Help your child name their emotions and talk about them.
• Prepare ahead to avoid triggers: Carry snacks, avoid overtiredness, and give warnings before transitions (for example, counting down from 10, using a visual timer or saying, “We’ll leave the park in 5 minutes” and start to count down by the minute).
• Give yourself a break when you need it: Take turns with another parent/caregiver or friend when your frustration escalates.

Tantrums are hard to manage, but they’re also a sign your child is growing and learning. With patience, consistency, and support, you can guide them through it. 

Toilet learning

Learning to use the toilet or potty is different for every child. As a parent/caregiver, your role is to help your child build the skills and confidence to gradually learn to use the toilet on their own. This process takes time, so it is important to:

• choose a time when you can help your child every day, when there are no added stresses in your life
• be patient and give your child daily support and encouragement

Signs your child may be ready

A child’s readiness to learn, rather than their age, can guide you on when to begin the toilet learning process. Some children are ready to start as early as 18 months, but most start between 2 and 4 years of age. While most children complete toilet learning within 3 to 6 months, it can take longer for some.

Signs that your child might be ready for toilet learning include:

• staying dry in their diaper for 1-2 hours and/or getting up dry from a nap
• having bowel movements that occur on a regular schedule
• showing interest in imitating a parent/sibling in the bathroom
• using words or gestures to let you know they are going or need to go to the potty/toilet
• showing discomfort in a wet or dirty diaper
• being able to follow simple directions like “let’s go to the toilet”
• being able to pull their pants up and down on their own

Helpful programs and services for parents and caregivers

Halton Region's free parenting programs and supports provide helpful information and welcoming spaces for parents/caregivers and kids to connect and grow. You can get effective tools to feel more confident, learn new skills, and build a strong connection with your child while meeting and learning with other families!

Triple P Online is a free, evidence-based program for parents/caregivers with children 2-16 years old. All learning is online and at your own pace. This program can help you:

• build a strong bond with your child
• improve your parenting skills and feel more confident
• learn helpful ways to encourage positive behaviour
• take care of your own well-being as a parent/caregiver

You can also call 311  , Monday to Friday 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.to speak with a public health nurse about:

• your health and well-being during and after pregnancy
• feeding your baby, breastfeeding and healthy eating
• how your child grows and develops
• parenting tips for dealing with challenging behaviours
• mental health for both you and your child

Remember: You are not alone. We are here to help!