Simple ways to help build your child’s core life skills

Build a strong connection with your child

Loving, responsive relationships help your child feel safe, seen, and supported. This connection helps your child grow and develop core life skills and gives opportunities for parents/caregivers to practice and strengthen their own core life skills.

Talk about feelings

Name your own feelings out loud and help your child to name theirs. For example, “I’m feeling frustrated” or “you seem sad, do you need a hug?” Talking about emotions helps children understand and manage them in healthy ways.

Play with your child

Play is a great way to build life skills! Games that include taking turns, pretending, following rules, or solving problems help children build important thinking and social skills.

Create simple routines

Having regular routines like bedtime, mealtimes, and clean-up time helps your child feel safe and know what to expect. For babies, follow their cues for sleep and feeding. You can gently introduce bedtime routines like reading a book or dimming the lights when they show signs of being tired.

Breaking big tasks into smaller steps

This helps your child learn how to handle big challenges one step at a time, and they feel proud when they finish each part. You’re also teaching them how to plan, stay calm, and keep going even when something seems hard at first. Breaking things down into simple steps, offering choices, and doing things together helps your child feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

For example, instead of saying “get ready to go outside,” try saying:

1. “Let’s find your coat together.”
2. “Now let’s sit down and put on your boots—do you want to try one and I’ll help with the other?”
3. “Time for your hat! You pick if you want the red one or the blue one.”
4. “Great! Let’s grab your mittens and we’re ready!”

Set loving boundaries/rules

Children feel safe when they know the rules. Be kind but firm. Offer choices with limits—for example, “It’s time to wear shoes. Do you want your red ones or your blue ones?”

Talk about what’s coming next

Let your child know before things change-like, “In 5 minutes, we’re going to clean up and go outside.” This helps them feel prepared.

Teach problem solving

Problem-solving helps kids handle challenges, make good choices, and feel more confident. It teaches them to stay calm, think of solutions, and learn from mistakes; especially when things don’t go as planned. You can support your child by talking through problems together that happen during everyday play and asking, “what could we try?” followed by giving gentle guidance when needed and praising their efforts.

Keep expectations realistic

Every child is different. What works to calm one child might not work for another. Think about your child’s age, stage, and temperament when choosing how to support them and deciding which positive parenting strategy will work best in different situations.

Keep screen time balanced

Too much screen time can get in the way of your child learning how to calm down, talk, and connect with others. Try to limit screen time and spend more time talking and playing. Your child watches how you use your phone, so try to put it down when spending time together.

Teach ways to cope with stress

When your child is calm, practice coping skills like deep breathing or mindfulness activities. Reading books like Tucker Turtle Takes Time to Tuck and Think (external PDF), and doing other mindfulness activities (external link) can help your child learn what to do when they feel overwhelmed. 

Watch and try this mindfulness video with your child (YouTube video)  .

Manage your own stress

Emotions are contagious- kids can pick up on your mood. When you stay calm, it helps your child feel calm too. Talk to your child about how you handle stress, so they can learn how to handle it too.

Be a good role model

Show your child how you solve problems, manage big feelings and stay calm. Every parent/caregiver can benefit from parenting education programs, like Triple P Online, to help strengthen their own core life skills and their relationship with their child. By practicing and modelling these skills, you help your child develop their own core life skills and resilience (the ability to handle life’s ups and downs).

Making skill-building a practice

Think of these techniques you use to help your child develop core life skills like scaffolding, the structure workers use to support a building while it’s being built. Over time, as your child grows and learns, they’ll need less support and be able to use their core life skills on their own. Everyone learns and grows at their own pace. Some children need more time and support than others.